Retrouvaille

[stilllookingup]

W came over for the dialoging and that segued into a discussion of how the dialog and followup classes don't seem to be helping us progress in our marriage. W admitted that she still had no feelings for me and doesn't think she ever will. We both agreed that RetroV has really helped us with our communications, but that has not converted into any kind of marital breakthrough. I asked her how all this makes her feel and she said "scared". I asked her if she meant for me or herself, and she said herself. I asked what she meant by that and she said she wasn't sure. It was getting late and we were both tired, so we agreed to get together this weekend to discuss things further.

You have so much more experience in DB-ing I don’t know if my words will be any helpful but to me she’s still very confused.
I can’t help but to see similarities in your W and my H. She loves and cares about you but the hurt she bared for a long time is taking her over.. (and depressed)

I don’t know much about this RetroV program but it sounds like how the group session we attended worked for us. We both agreed that the dialogues and questionnaires we did were so helpful, we discovered a lot of each other’s feeling and thought we never knew. BUT he was still not happy at the end of the 6-week session. It seems to me every time your W gets involved in some kind of a marriage program; she gets cold feet really easily.

You mentioned somewhere that you never go back to your own posts but I’m sure a lot of people here like me read all of your posts for inspiration. To me your wife was much more open when she was at home while witnessing your 180 changes and before RetroV. Hopefully you can give her more time alone and see where it goes..