VG, the story of your wife noticing your missing ring is interesting. Isn't it strange that they do this stuff and yet they are thrown off balance when they encounter something from us that they don't expect? I was told that it kind of makes them feel like they are losing control. It also makes them feel like they might not know you as well as they thought they did. Pretty scary stuff.
One of these past evenings, my wife tore into me about my changes. She said she feels like I am trying to steal the kids from her. This was all triggered by me going into their rooms to check up on them before bed. My wife has always done this. She wanted to know why I was doing it. I had never done it before. I told her that I had done this in her absence and that it might be that I was feeling closer to the girls as well.
She also brought up the fact that I have changed my manner of dress. Months ago, she had suggested better fitting clothing for me and I just continued the suggestion. This obviously is causing her angst. She tells me she doesn't know me. That I am different. When she says that stuff, it makes me wonder if I have changed too much. I really don't think so. I am the very same guy she married, I just do things now like think about what she might need, clean the house, spend time and actually talk to our girls, and I have some different clothes. Oh, and I don't sit around the house waiting for her to decide what we are doing. I have a plan for my day and I don't follow her around like I used to.
I'm sticking with my changes. They are good for me, us and our kids. I just hope that she gets a little more used to me this way. Her reaction to the changes does not make me feel any better about us.
On a positive note, she will still occasionally make statements that make me think she's gonna pull out of this. After all, she is convinced that I am the one who started all of this crisis and she is waiting for me to pull out of my MLC!
