Still working on me

[sweetbabyred]

LJC, thanks for still keeping up with my sitch. I haven't posted much either, so no worries.

I think it's just that I'm so busy with school and trying to get work experience in my field that I just don't have time to worry about what H is doing. I'm realizing that I have a whole life that H doesn't know about.

The plan was that H was going to file this month when he got his bonus and could afford the filing fee. I'm going to wait and see what happens, but if he doesn't do anything I may go ahead and file in April. That'll be 2 years after BD.

That's not to say that I wouldn't consider giving H another chance if he broke up with OW and said that he was willing to do whatever it took to make things work, including Retrouvaille. But I've stopped expecting a miracle.

For the first year and a half I had hope that he'd change his mind, especially because he kept telling me he was confused and he continued contact with me.

But since this latest OW, in September, he's pretty much cut off contact, except for a few times when he calls and says he's conflicted. I think I'm ready for him to know that I'm really not waiting around for him to change his mind.

I'm ready for a fresh start, with H or without. But, unlike H, I want to be D before I start dating, or at least in the process.