Am I kidding myself.

[Hopefull2]

Thanks for stopping by RH. My older D and I did a bang up job for younger D's birthday. Had a limo take us to the play, felt like big shots... Was fun and light and she loved it. Nothing notable with interactions with W. She had her walls up as usual.

My time at home is almost up, leaving again tomorrow. Did have a couple conversations with W, mainly about her job and search for new one. Was hoping for a miracle and she would consider looking where i now live (didn't even ask her to consider... no pressure...) Tried to invite myself over to here place to watch SuperBowl. She was considering it but said she would have to see how she felt. Declined later in the day (more on this below). Dissapointed but made the best of it, trying to stay with zero expectations. This was my attempt at something new to see if it worked, maybe a little pressure but not so much that she was uncomfortable.

Need Input/Advice/2x4

I have had reason to believe that W's contact with OM has diminished. No phone calls, texts. No medical bills from his office. She quit going to social group which he is part of.

BUT...

On several occasions that she has cacelled/declined time with me i have noticed she has been constantly updating on FB. I am assuming she is IM'ing with someone. Of course my mind goes to OM??? Maybe not but do not know. So on my way to friends for SuperBowl i drive by her complex and notice a car that was same color as OM's. I pull into complex to see and car is gone by the time i get there. Maybe nothing but my paranoia...

So as you can see having trouble with letting go... My gut is telling me that it is not over with OM. If i knew this to be true i would go NC and if she asked i would tell her until she can tell me that it is over with OM i am moving on, not holding onto the hope...

I could hire a PI to find out? One thing that i almost did early in sitch was contact OM's Wife and let her know. I still regret in someways not doing so. He has no pressure to end whatever is going on, no consequenses.

Or i could let go and let God. Which i have prayed a lot about. I have prayed that God would make this public. I just am afraid that if i do so the damage would be too great. But am i being week in allowing this to go on behind everyones back if i know it is??