Its amazing how effective proper validation can be with a WAS. Its hard to demonize someone who is just mirroring and emphasizing with you.
However, one issue that happens a lot right about now is once you start validating their feelings, the WAS will then start looking for validation of their plans and actions. In your case, her thinking might be that if you agree that its soooooo sad that she is homesick with no chance to reconnect with OM, then she will think you must also agree that the best course of action is for you to pay her alimony while she goes back to her home country for her OM, I mean education.
Ive seen people start moving from validating to bargaining before they even realize it. The trick is sticking with your boundaries on facts and actions while validating her feelings. Agree with her that it must be really tough for her, but dont even discuss plans that are unacceptable to you. Im not an expert in validation, but from negotiating experience things like 'I' statements for validating and passive voice and 'we' for expressing boundaries can work well - eg "I understand this is difficult for you...the kids cant leave the country right now; I know not getting to do XX right now is difficult for you...we cant afford to do XX".
Oh, and whatever you do, don't you even entertain the thought of letting her take your kids out of the country! The kids passports should be at your relative's house and they should be on the do no fly registry ASAP. Get custody orders written up so they can be immediately filed if you sense something is up. It might be hard for you to come to grips with this notion, but if she gets them to her home country, they are never coming back.
