I want him to be happy

[stilllookingup]

Only discuss it with friends that have no connection to your H...DO NOT discuss it with mutual friends or family. When talking to mutual friends or family, just say things like "we're both taking this time to learn more about ourselves and what we want."

Hmm I've been talking to my best friend and best friend at work and my H know them but I wouldn't call them our "mutual" best friends so they don't have any contact, I'm good there.
I haven't asked any family member or his friends to "help" him change his mind. I just want them to be there for him because that's what he needs. Both my MIL and my H admit that they have issues with asking people for help or talking about problems. To this day I don't think my H called his parents to talk about his feelings about our M issue. He still has big scars from his parents divorcing when he was little, from his step dad's sudden death, from his grandpa's sudden death, feeling of abandonment from his dad and they were not addressed or healed because he hid them deep inside for a long time. I still believe they are not healed.

In my H's first email to me 3 months ago, he said he regretted that he couldn't communicate his hurt feelings with me (about our relationship) so we wouldn't be where we were.

I couldn't believe it. You regret...? But I'm still here. It was his way of dealing with big scars. It's too painful so let's just put a bandage on it and forget it.

When I told my meaningful friends about it, they all said the same thing. We all hurt, we all have scars from life that can't heal, but we deal with it and move on. I couldn't have agreed with them more BUT I didn't have the rough childhood my H had so if either one of us has to step up and show him we CAN heal big scars, it has to be me. I have to be patient until his scar from our M heals.

We watch the preview of the next season's Walking Dead

I LOVE that show! One of my guilty pleasures

Ours too! I cried like a little baby when Rick talked to xxx on the phone in prison.