And right now I don't even know if after I do all I'm doing, if I will even want him back....I do so much better when H isn't around, when I don't know what he is doing. I do better when he isn't himself. I struggle when he seems so happy and talking about his new life.
Hopper, that is exactly how I felt. I knew I wanted my H back but not the alien creature he had become.
I am starting to see a normal person in my H now and that we can have a normal, good, even fantastic M possibly. But there wasn't any of that vision when he was so happy with his fantasy life he created outside the home...while not willing to give up home either.
It just takes so much time. The farther I get into this thing, the more I realize the advice I've heard on this forum is SO applicable. Take care of yourself, be patient, detach lovingly, don't give up hope, give them plenty of space, etc. It's really quite a self -discipline exercise for us. And we are learning lifelong valuable lessons for all R's!
Hopper, hang in there. Is there any time to pamper yourself in your busy schedule?
When is your H's birthday?
Me54/H47 '08 H is "done" March '12 H moved out Brink of D, December '12 2014 totally reconciled! ...... "I firmly believe in the...absolute possibility of marriage renewal." Jim Conway
