Help/Advice needed please...

[Intact]

OUCH - My Wife has just called me to forewarn me that she has filled for Divorce.

I'm devastated - but she is so certain.

[LJC]

Personally I wouldn't be happy with that. Way to soon for OM to start stepping into your shoes! What happens if she does let them meet but it doesn't work out with OM? Will she continue to let OM meet your S as and when she feels like it? That will mess with your S head.

Like I say its MO and prob something I will have to deal with

[Intact]

I just can't believe this! We have been separated 3 weeks and she is already filling...

I have booked an appointment with a solicitor as she has listed "unreasonable behaviour" on my part! I'm shocked...

Obviously I still want to reconcile so any advice on how I should handle this would be greatly appreciated...

[Intact]

Well I just had the oddest encounter with W where she bought up the relationship but I made a massive error.

Asked her why she filled she told me same stuff "can't be with you" "don't love you" "can't come back" etc.

I then made a mistake and told her "I will love you until the day I die, and the day after if I'm allowed" with this she started crying and told me "maybe I don't deserve that love" - she walked over too me, hugged me and said "I'm so sorry this is the only way forward"

I know I made a mistake here, but the divorce was like another bomb. On a positive note, I didn't get emotional or angry, and I made good eye contact through out. Mail though now she's filled for divorce I don't really see what hope I have got.

[Intact]

Well I just had the oddest encounter with W where she bought up the relationship but I made a massive error.

Asked her why she filled she told me same stuff "can't be with you" "don't love you" "can't come back" etc.

I then made a mistake and told her "I will love you until the day I die, and the day after if I'm allowed" with this she started crying and told me "maybe I don't deserve that love" - she walked over too me, hugged me and said "I'm so sorry this is the only way forward"

I know I made a mistake here, but the divorce was like another bomb. On a positive note, I didn't get emotional or angry, and I made good eye contact through out. Mail though now she's filled for divorce I don't really see what hope I have got.

Please help me with this - I have no idea how to respond to the divorce, or what to do - my mind is racing...

[Intact]

^ please help

[LJC]

Intact - I don't know what to say as I've not faced this before. I hope someone can 'throw you a lifeline' but at the moment don't act on emotion and try to be the bigger person in all this.

[Intact]

Thanks LJC - I too am hoping one of the veterans can offer me a little advice about how to handle the Divorce... Should I just sign it or should I refuse and hold out for the 2 years? So hard to know what to do and what the DB principles would be here.

[Spartan]

Many of us are living this with our WAS's filed. It $ucks but it's not the end. The process can take a LONG time if you want it to so try to relax and settle in. If you haven't already you should see a lawyer to protect yourself. Then my suggestion is let the L's do their job and you continue to work on you and show your W the new you and put the doubt in her head. Really nothing about DBing changes. I would also limit (or best if have none) discussion with W about D proceedings, let the L's do that.

[Intact]

Many of us are living this with our WAS's filed. It $ucks but it's not the end. The process can take a LONG time if you want it to so try to relax and settle in. If you haven't already you should see a lawyer to protect yourself. Then my suggestion is let the L's do their job and you continue to work on you and show your W the new you and put the doubt in her head. Really nothing about DBing changes. I would also limit (or best if have none) discussion with W about D proceedings, let the L's do that.

Thanks Spartan I guess that makes sense. Trouble is as we don't really have man assets and have already sorted out custody etc I fear it could be a very quick divorce and I don't know what I should do when the papers are presented too me - should I just sign them or tell her I'm not prepared to divorce just yet. It seems awful because if I refuse to sign it pushes her further away (if thats possible) but if I sign, then thats it... game over.