One thing he did I do not quite understand is that, he changed his own bank account into a joint one with his parents. We do not have a joint bank account together. We really do not have anything together. His car was given by his parents, my car was bought by my parents. Now I have a good job while he still doesn't have a job, and he is spending all the money on that girl like crazy.
If he doesn't have a job then he probably did this so he can mooch off his parents.
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I sometimes want to start the D process myself, does anyone else have similar experience? We do not really have an issue as to split properties, at least that's what I think, although I do feel like he cheated and that he should pay me back in some way. Should I even talk to a lawyer? Should I start the D myself? I just feel trapped now.
Just think about it long and hard and make sure you're doing it for the right reasons. A lot of LBS's decide to initiate D because they feel like it gives them control of the sitch, but going through with it doesn't bring the closure or peace-of-mind they expected. You really need to be completely and totally detached to initiate D yourself. Ask yourself if you're there yet. Have you gotten to the point where you are living your own life and nothing your H says or does has any impact on your own PMA? Don't pursue D because you're hoping to wake him up, only do it if you're 100% detached and ready to move on.
Thank you so much for your reply. I felt weird that he has a joint account with his parents now because I feel like he did this because of me. But your reason is probably better than mine!
I miss the "old" him but I don't see him ever being that again. I think now is a good time for us to divorce because we really do not have any property to divide or any child to take care of. So in my mind, it would be a fairly easy divorce. I do not want to do this to wake him up, I think if he wants to be back, he can try, but unless he gets to that point, I am being trapped.
Another reason I want D now is that, I do not want to be the "bad" person, I mean if I wait for him to start the D, how is he going to reason it? Apparently not that he is cheating. I guess I do not really understand the D process too well. I just don't see what is good for me or us to be like this right now. We are not even legally separated! I feel like he is just trying to see if he works out with this girl right now, and I do not want to be his back up plan.
Another thing is, I am buying a new car and moving into a new apartment, is it going to be our shared property now somehow? Although he never comes back for almost 8 months?
