LittleGTO, I can only echo what the others have written. Focus on yourself, let H do what he thinks he needs to do.
I can very well understand that it's tough to meet him every day. I noticed the same in the beginning of my crisis. After BD, when I was still in the house with W, the atmosphere deteriorated by the day, it was tense and icy. I then left the house, predominantly for professional reasons, but the separation also helped me to detach much better than before. Maybe an option is to agree on a clear slot with H and leave the house while he is there, for exercising or shopping. Yes, it's an escape but a justified one. You don't need to torment yourself, you need to feel good! Eventually you'll find the strength to face H more often but for now protect yourself.
One more thing: do you find yourself attractive or do you wish to improve anything about your appearance? Don't be afraid to be "sexy". Not for H but for yourself. And if you manage to attract glances of other men it won't harm your self-esteem either. This "primal" aspect of a marriage gets too little emphasis in the forum, in my opinion.
