EXPERIMENTING with physical touch with W

[25yearsmlc]

what adinva and Bond said.^^^

Big Brother is probably the last thing a working father should do now. It's time consuming and takes AWAY from your d time. Might even look as if you preferred having a son...

Cooking classes are great. Habitat is too, I volunteered at a woman's shelter partly b/c it was indoors and I was in Alaska. Not sure what the time commitments are w/Habitat and you need to do your time managment carefully.

Being the assistant coach of something might work, or the pottery class, which was very different for me b/c it's not "active" enough, was really cool. (You have to pay for the supplies no matter where you go, btw.)

Bond's point about wanting to do all of it at once DOES make me think you're trying to rush things. Like the "faster you do it, the faster she'll return" but that's not what GAL is about. Please wrap your brain around that.

Also You are opening a 2nd business now. You say you are learning to delegate. But taking a class or two, while taking care of your d is probably quite enough.

You may end up being a single father too, so you need to realize you'll have to have enough flexibility to accomodate that possibility. It IS a possibility.

As for the sex, it's ironic that you did Not want it so much before...and now it's on your mind so much. I think gabby's suggestion is the obvious one and we don't need details. But paying or having Sex with another woman now, unless you simply want revenge (NOT a suggestion!) isn't even a comprehensible comment to me.

So I'll leave it at that.

Good luck SM, I hope you make the changes you need to make and that your wife stops mistreating you very soon. Adinva's comments are right on. What if OM bores her and then she wants another man, again? How many will you tolerate before you act?

I hope you learn to stand up for yourself in a healthy strong, manly way. That will probably be the most likely way to get her respect, but the goal has to be you getting your self respect back.

Like you said, the paradox is that we SOMETIMES get our WASs attention most when we seek it the least.

We move on in our lives, knowing, finally, that we'll be alright with or without our spouses...that we'll be happy, even without them.

So maybe they'll come back (it's certainly MORE likely if we've GAL and regained our self esteem/respect)

but IF they don't return, we'll be happy in our new lives, that much faster.

And if they do look our way, they'll see a more attractive spouse to return to. But you will have a lot of work to do if she does want back in.

Do you honestly feel if she returned home tomorrow and said "Okay I'm back. Let's not talk about OM, but let's stay m b/c now I am willing to be w/you..."

& that you'd take her back, and things would all be better?

You'll both need tools for restoring your m. Piecing is not easy.

Thankfully, you are getting some tools now from a DB coach. Stay with that.

But listen carefully to ALL of what she says, and do not 'Edit" what you tell her.

That doesn't serve your cause. Full disclosure does.

Good luck!