I’m still making everything about ME. Me being sad because of the thought of losing our house, a huge chunk of my income, less time with the kids, all of it. Now she’s moved out of our bedroom and barely speaks to me..this makes me sad too. That is all me thinking only of ME.
It's OK, don't feel bad about that. We all go through that, it's a natural part of the grieving process. Don't fight it and don't wallow in it, just understand that those are emotions that need to roll through before you can move on to a better place. Emotions don't control us if we don't let them. Just understand that your fear and sorrow are largely because of the unknown, you don't know how you're going to come out the other side and naturally you're scared of it. I was there too. But you will come out, and you will establish your "new normal", and you will come to realize that you'll be fine. It takes time, but you'll get there.
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This has been a continual “more of the same” behavior from me for several months. So for all this impending crap that has to be dealt with that makes me feel sad, I need a what? An “as if” attitude? A Positive attitude? Keep it to myself and show a positive outlook? Whatever it is, I have to immediately change what I’ve been doing. This starts TODAY.
This is why we constantly harp on GAL around here, GAL is the key to PMA. Michele talks in DR about how you can sit around wondering why PMA doesn't come to you, but the longer you sit around waiting for it the longer you will be miserable. So she says get up, go out and do something. ANYTHING. Take that first small, difficult step, every one after that gets easier.
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My W is so far gone right now, that things will be pretty slow to start, I imagine. But then again, this is just me guessing....
It's a marathon, not a sprint. Things will be veeeery slow to start. That's why it's important to do it for you, and to drop all expectations.
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As for as GAL, I have a time problem. Our schedules are as follows: I work 10-12 hours per day, 6 days a week right now.
Well that's tough to be sure. But do what you can to work something in now and then even if it's just walking the dog around the block or taking the kids for ice cream. This is VERY important to your well-being. I can tell you having been there, a bad attitude will NEVER bring your W back. PMA is what will do it. My W told me at RetroV that she can't believe how happy and at peace I am and it made her wonder what was up with me, she wanted to find out how I did it because she wants it too, and can't find it!! SHE left to find PMA but didn't, I stayed home and did! This is what gets the WAS interested again, they want to know your secret to success.
