Oh by the way, how does everyone last so many months without intimacy! The thought of paying for sex has crossed my mind several times because of the blue balls situation I find myself in. Ick! I have NEVER had to do that. But I feel if I went out and got some random. Woman I would get attached (EA).
Is an escort the answer? Lol. Or do we all just take care of ourselves if you know what I mean. This could take a while! Suggestions appreciated =)
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
Trying to find a pottery class in my area. i.want a go at the spinning wheel like in the movie Ghost =)
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
That was the most juvenile post I've read in awhile. So you're saying that you've been in this for a couple of months and want to start paying for sex because you're too immature to not get it for a little while.
"The thought of paying for sex has crossed my mind several times because of the blue balls situation I find myself in. Ick! I have NEVER had to do that. But I feel if I went out and got some random. Woman I would get attached (EA)."
This is why so many people get turned off by your posts.
"Is an escort the answer? Lol. Or do we all just take care of ourselves if you know what I mean. This could take a while! Suggestions appreciated =)"
No the answer is to get a D, learn that a M is more than just about sex and grow up. What's going to happen when your W decides she doesn't or can't have sex any more? You'd probably leave her and your D for that.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Wow SM you've reached an all time low. If this is how you really feel then I have no hope for you. Hard to believe you barely had sex with your W and suddenly you need to be "taken care of".
Do you really value your W at all? Reason I ask is is that you have a lot of negative words you use to describe her and you use LOL an awful lot. I hope you aren't playing us for fools. Mr Bond is right you need to grow up.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
No you are right, that's ridiculous. They were just passing thoughts but I know acting like that would complicate things.
I don't want sex with anyone but my wife. Haven't in 14 years.
About the barely had sex thing, we did have sex once or twice a week. But I can handle waiting. It adds to the suspense also.
So, up early with D3 now. Getting her ready for school. Amazing how one small child can give a grown man so much happiness and motivation. Did I tell you guys how much I love that girl?
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
Her speech/behavioral evaluation is on the 15th. Hopefully they can show us better ways to get her to communicate
She is, however, saying I love you! It melts my heart when she tells,me she loves me. She is so adorable!
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I've found the PERFECT GAL activity for me! Cooking classes!!
I'm signing up for a class in Latin cooking. It is a 3 part class (once a week for three weeks) As follows:
MENU -
Week 1- Caribbean: Jerk Spiced Shrimp with Papaya Relish; Mufungo with Pork Carnitas; Arroz Con Pollo (Cuban Chicken and Rice); Banana-Coconut Tart. Week 2- North America: Papusas (Salvadoran Corn Cakes) with Curtido Slaw; Chicken Chilaquiles (Mexican Tortilla Casserole); Beef Carneadas (Grilled) with Rice and Beans; Tres Leches Cake. Week 3- South America: Peruvian Shrimp and Scallop Ceviche with Fried Plantains; Columbian Chicken Tamales with Pique Sauce; Skirt Steak Churascos with Salsa Criolla; Dulce De Leche Flan.
Everything sounds so delicious! I can't wait! It starts next Tuesday and runs every Tuesday evening for three weeks.
Also still looking for pottery classes but the only ones I can find in my area are actually done by a retail store that lets you paint pots etc.. and then you pay for the pots and the paint. Not exactly what I had in mind so I'll keep looking.
Also contacted the Habitat for Humanity but waiting for an answer.
Anyone ever done Big Brother Big Sister? It looks interesting but seems a little intimidating to me. Kind of outside my comfort zone but I think that is probably a good thing for me right now. I just feel intimidated by being a "role model" for a little kid, although I think it would be very rewarding to give back to the community, especially to a little boy with no father. Still playing with that thought in my head.
Me, H-34 now 38 W-32 now 35 T-13 now 18 years M-6 now 9 Daughter 3 years now 7 Bomb 11/27/12 - OM 1 year in house separation Reconciliation 12/2013. Healed now 2017
SM, I'll tell you a little secret. I call you SMH in my own mind. Smack My Head. Because you're nothing if not persistent.
That is a good quality and I see it in how you keep on coming back here and trying. I'm impressed with the way that you argue and fuss and write and write and sometimes listen. Because the guys that come here, and one of them is another guy I like to post to, who say one thing, get some flak, and come right back on in the next breath saying "you're right!!! I've learned!!! I've got it now!!!" are honestly not going to get anything out of this. You might.
Detaching is counterintuitive. 90% of the advice given here to people who've been hit with a nuclear bomb and are looking at becoming single, is counterintuitive. And sometimes arguing it through is the only way you can really understand. So, keep on talkin'.
I like the GALS you're thinking of. Be very careful about GALs that will create a long-term time drain from your family. You're probably not the best candidate for a big brother bc you have a 3yo you are already challenged to get home by 5:30 for. But keep thinking because those ideas you brought up are interesting, will improve you, and will surround you with people who don't know or care that you're going through a rocky time, people who will only know you as you are trying to be. It's good for you.
You asked how to not fall in the friends category. Well, I think it's great that you're getting real DB coaching and I think you should try, monitor, evaluate and report back to her the results of what she suggests so that you can do what works.
In the end, in my opinion, the only way you aren't in the "friends" category is you refuse to be cuckolded by your W. You move her out of your bedroom and you set some boundaries about how you will be treated in your own home (some of which I believe you have been doing). You're in the middle of a long drawn out game she's playing that will end in divorce. Who's her next boyfriend going to be? How many boyfriends can she have before you make an appointment with a lawyer? I feel so sad for what you are going through, and you are being a real stand-up guy trying to do your best. I just don't think it is ok at all that she gets to live in your house and openly f&*^+&%^&k some other guy.
I really hope your coach gives you some strength and practical suggestions to try, and I would just encourage you to really try that especially. We're all here because we believe in the solution-based approach, and we should allow you to give it a fair try.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
Also contacted the Habitat for Humanity but waiting for an answer.
Anyone ever done Big Brother Big Sister?
I've built several houses with Habitat. I have a friend that was a Big Brother. My advice would be to go with Habitat. Being a Big Brother is a HUGE commitment and if you change your mind later or find yourself too busy then you will really crush a young boy's hopes. Habitat is as big a commitment as you want to make it. Personally I go every Saturday from the start to finish of the house. But others go every other Saturday while others just go once a month. It's whatever works best for you and your schedule. The Habitat houses don't typically run back-to-back so even if you go every Saturday you usually get a couple months' break now and then which is a nice breather. And don't worry if you know nothing about construction, it's an environment that offers on-the-job training to those who have never lifted a hammer.
