Hi everyone. I posted something similar on a another thread a while back, but this seems like a better place to continue the discussion.
I spoke with my lawyer yesterday. In my state I have two years to settle this divorce and make it final if I don't want the divorce. But my W wants to have everything negotiated and final in 90 days. My lawyer said I can use her wishes to my advantage in negotiations. Basically tell my W that I don't want the divorce (which is true), but offer her a settlement which is very favourable to me if she really wants it in 90 days. I don't really feel immoral doing this as it truly is my wish to wait two years and see if she has a change of heart.
I'm leaning towards using this tactic. Would I be ruining any slim chance of reconciliation with this course of action? Or would she respect me standing up for myself at some level?
Basically it's this. Single people think that being single is the best way to be and have no respect for marriage. If the single world has convinced your spouse that it's a better way to be, or that your spouse got into an affair with someone and built up all the oxytocin and time and new experiences with the new person it's going to be nearly impossible to get them to see it another way.
Perhaps a betrayal or scandal into the world that they are entering away from you may get them to come back home, but even them many people have convinced themself that what they were chasing was better or will have guilt in returning, knowing they made a mistake so they continue on the path the started for themself even if it's wrong.
It's why DB'ing is so difficult and there still is no guarantee.
There is one thing for sure. There are things you say and do that affect someones psychology and some of this stuff isn't nice.
