Originally Posted By: veroprado
Thank you Starsky. I've been considering making a low and high demands list that I got from the book after the affair. High would be the letter/email to OW.

Honestly, I've had these conversations with him so much that I just want to take a break from it all. What's also helping is that his actions demonstrate him moving closer and closer to us.

All in all GREAT things to think about.



I understand you're emotionally spent, Vero, and there's also the whole "I don't want to spook him!" thing. I get it. I myself squirmed like a witch with holy water poured on her when my sponsor/mentor coached me to do these very things. Today, looking back the 5 1/2 years, I can see that he was right (and even saw in just a couple of months where my way didn't work, before I tried his way).

I would just caution you, however, that you really only get ONE SHOT at this. It is now -- when they ask back into the marriage -- that is your moment of maximum leverage.


You'd be wise not to squander it.


Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)