FY said pretty much exactly the things I was thinking. The only other thing to really try to do is give her space. As you say she's dealt with a lot and I'm guessing this decision wasn't easy for her. Let her work on her stuff and no R talk for a while (best if she brings it up first). More importantly you work on your stuff. Sounds like you know some of the big issues your W has brought up (alcohol, pot, etc...) and have made good changes there so start thinking about the smaller stuff she's brought up. Do you agree with these faults and if yes that's your next 180's.
Also read Sandi's 37 180's in the sticky. If you haven't already you might want to pick up Divorce Remedy.
I understand how you feel about trying to change and do everything all at once but try to relax a bit also. This is a LONG process and can be overwhelming. Do some things just for you (GAL). Do them with friends, take kids out, etc... but stay busy and try to have some fun. Be the person you want to be for you, everything else in life will take care of itself.
Personality is who the world sees, character is who you are
