Tallula. That's a deal on the punches. I can't help but feel sorry for them, all broken down and helpless. ugh. It is hard for me to not want to help--because helping my H will in turn help my sons' R with H. But I am only capable of being in charge of MY R with our Sons...and H is in charge of HIS R with our sons. I need to learn to let him make his mistakes even if it hurts our sons. that [censored].
I have set some boundaries.
1. he gave me the keys to the house 2. he doesn't show up without invitation or prior arrangement 3. he is a guest here 4. the boys will see him regularly, if they want me there, I will be there, if not that is okay too. It has been only a matter of days now. Still so raw. In time I am sure this will change. 5. I will no longer contact him unless it is of a business nature (mail, the boys schedule, etc.) and even then I will try to avoid that. 6. I will not share the struggles of the boys nor give him tips on how to handle their emotions. He will need to figure that out on his own.
silver lining. I have lost almost 10 pounds in the past week. I feel like most of it probably was me losing my mind.
It's pretty pitiful. Great boundaries! As much as it [censored] that my kids are so little, it is nice that they really don't get what is going on.
I agree with the others about sharing your kids struggles, it's what is going on. It's the truth.
You are doing great. Hang in there.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
