It's been a while and I think I should start a new thread because things are changing and my mind too.
My H wrote me awhile ago, saying the same old things such as he wants to find out what he wants and we should separate to see how it works, etc. I didn't reply, honestly I do not know what to say. I know he was still with the OW. I laughed and cried while reading that msg. I thought he would bring up the D but he didn't. I am assuming he is just trying to make it easier for himself to say D later. We still have no contact. But he'd know what I'm doing I assume from his parents, if he wants to.
I cried and cried for months, and tried to get him back. I blamed myself for so long as the one who messed up our marriage. Now, I am able to stop doing that to hurt myself.
I don't know what to do now. Honestly, I wish he could be back to that innocent great man and that I would love to work with him to solve any problem in our marriage and live a good life together, but from what I see, it is not happening.
One thing he did I do not quite understand is that, he changed his own bank account into a joint one with his parents. We do not have a joint bank account together. We really do not have anything together. His car was given by his parents, my car was bought by my parents. Now I have a good job while he still doesn't have a job, and he is spending all the money on that girl like crazy.
I sometimes want to start the D process myself, does anyone else have similar experience? We do not really have an issue as to split properties, at least that's what I think, although I do feel like he cheated and that he should pay me back in some way. Should I even talk to a lawyer? Should I start the D myself? I just feel trapped now.
Any advice or suggestions would be really appreciated!
