Wife privileges reinstated, back in my own bed!

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks guys. I like the reminder that we are "starting over." Time to get to know each other again. My H always has been able to make me laugh, that is for sure. I guess, in a nutshell, I'm looking for more "leadership" from him. Does that make sense??

Yes, I have heard from him. He calls every morning but it's hard to talk then because we are getting ready. But he has been now including terms of endearment so I guess that is good.

I had IC this am and I talked a lot about this boredom that I have. I mentioned it before but I definitely need social stimulation. I feel like in a way I created some of this drama as an antidote to boredom, so now that I know that I have to try harder to keep myself productively occupied. My IC said I should be getting more emotional stimulation from H. I don't know, but I probably need to ramp up the GAL to the extent possible.

please take this to heart b/c it screams out to me. LONG AGO I was very neglected in my m. H was in residency with 90 hour weeks and VERY tired and cranky when home. THis was not a one year deal...and it was unrelenting.

Forget my rationalizations, just trust me -I had them! Then a "Kevin Costner" guy began working next door to me...a SINGLE man.

I was sorely tempted and went to see a shrink and a chaplain. The shrink was fairly useless, fwiw.

But the chaplain said, "You seem to be passionate and romantic and your h cannot, right or wrong, fill all those needs now. Find a healthy channel for those passions and interests"

which is a different way of saying to GAL in a way that does not threaten your m.

I chose to audition for theater roles and eventually did stand up comedy. I have a ton of other GAL things, including joining a writer's group, volunteering, learning to fly,

but the one that made ME FEEL attractive and passionate, was acting.

Play the wife of Henry VIII (Jane Seymour, not the beheaded ones) or Wllie Loman, (or his girlfriend), or play the funny one in a romantic comedy but find a way to channel your feelings in a way that does not threaten your marriage.

I think boredom is a reflection of feeling directionless also, and that can become a mild form of depression too. Good insight on your end, but realize it's not healthy to blame him for YOU being bored in your life.

IMO your h cannot and, should not fill all your needs.

You have to. I can't emphasize this enough.

Brainstorm about GAL and what would make you feel impassioned (safely! No exotic dancing,etc)

Good luck.