Mare, I'm glad you feel comforted by the folks here- as you should. But I really want you to get professional help to sort this out and for support. If your husband has a tendency to be violent, DO NOT TALK ABOUT THIS IN THE CAR!! In fact, I wouldn't necessarily show him what you found. I would prefer you had a meeting with a therapist who could advise you as to how to present your ideas to him in the safest possible way. If you can't wait until Monday, could you be at your parents and ask him to come over so there would be other people around?
Look, everyone here is giving you advice based on what they know about violence in general. No one here knows your husband. Trust your gut. Will he react violently to your saying you want to get out of the marriage? If so, don't tell him that without taking precautionary steps first. If not, tell him, but don't do it angrily. In either case, you should have a back up plan if things get rough.
Get help no matter what you do. The DB family does not take the place of professional counseling. It's clear that your husband needs help, but you need to go even if he won't.
