Rinse, repeat, replay

[Raine]

Thanks so much rH. It's comforting to know that others out there have also experienced this and that it doesn't last. I do think that my H does want all women to want him, no matter what they looked like or anything about them, well except for me. It's very hard for me when he compliments me. I tell him thanks, but inside it makes me feel uncomfortable. I have a hard time getting over the things that I shouldn't be surprised about. It still hurts even though it's not necessarily true. I hate that he says things to people like, "I left my wife." Not that we separated but he left me. He'll also say I just see it as a break but he is moving towards divorce. Yet he has only said that to me once, as part of his opening up that I would never be able to forgive him. He just sounds really egotistical and uncompassionate.

I told him I'd like to take him to dinner for his bday and he said that would be fine. This is the only time I've asked him to go do something with me since he left, other than inviting him to family holiday stuff. This will be the first time just us. I felt like I needed to do it. I didn't want OW taking him out on that day, although I'm sure she'll do it some other night. I think he is doing late night visits with her every night now. He can spend hours and hours with her, not the entire night, but it's seems to be harder for him to spend more than 2 hours here with the boys.