Trying to Comprehend Non-Complience Post-D

[Yasu]

I did something dumb that set me back. I cannot believe how badle it set me back - I have been so sad, and have been sleeping for two days at least. Tomorrow, will change, as I have to go see the attoney, and file the Contempt of Court of former husband.

Well, this is what happened. My friend marissa, suggested I give him one last chance to pay me. She suggested I present the matter diffently, such as:

I could be in Comtempt if I don't make the payments to my old attorney, and she knows I am supposed to be getting that extra money for legal fees.

Anyway, we determined I actually call and try to explain it from that angle - that I could end up in trouble myself - cause this attorney is really pisst off that she did not win any fees, and I don't have any money. She's putting leins on everything.

Well, I didn't get the chance to do this thing, which was a stupid idea anyway. But what I learned - really upset me. He had his number changed! That really shocked me. I have only called him one time about this money issue. All other times it has been text.

It felt really like a slap in the face. I mean I'm trying to prevent him from trouble, and he changes his phone number. What an azz hole. It really hurt my feelings.

All the four years of separation, and my crazy calls - and I begged him to change his number - and he would not change. I even sent him two years worth of payment to put parental blocking system on his phone to block my number, and he just kept my moeny and didn't do it.

Now, I am just asking for my money, no drama, and now he finially changes the number. And there were no excessive phone calls, just a reminder text every week.

Truthfully, I felt really rejected, like he slammed the door in my face. And I got kind of upset the last few days with anxiety. But took the xanex and just sleep it off.

I did stop smoking. I am up to 6 days now. I quit for 20 years and started a few years ago. But need to stop it, so that is one good thing to report.

Tommorrow is differnt. I have to get up early, fix myself up nice, be downtown at attorney by 10:30, and have my act together. I have therapy in the afternoon.

This is the third day I have wasted. I will have to turn it around tomorrow - have to. I waited a long time for this appointment. Too late for him now.