Hey SM, I will leave the others to help you, but one thing that caught my eye was your statement that you want to take advice from those that made it work. Perfectly understandable and on paper, rational... however, I thought you might be interested in the attached article:

Your Divorced Friends May Give The Best Marriage Advice
http://todayhealth.today.com/_news/2012/...age-advice?lite

I wish you the best of luck.

LIS

Me- 40
H - 43
M - 5
T - 14
Separated 2/5/11