Thanks a lot guys!! However, it's definitely over....yesterday was the final straw for her, and now I think she is bordering on hating me.
Friday I found out that she started contacting the OM again. She said she will continue doing so going forward, since we will be separating soon. I told her it was not acceptable for her to contact him while living in this house with me paying the bills still. She agreed to stop until she moves out. I tried to deal with it the best I could, and I really felt like we had come to some understanding about what was happening--that it was for the best right now. Our interactions after that were much better--happy and upbeat again. I thought it would be a much better transition from all living together to the 3 of them moving out.
Yesterday she told me she found out a university in her country offers a bachelors degree much cheaper than can be found in the states, and all a person would have to do is show up quarterly to take a test. So she is enrolled and is planning on going in June. Since we will be separated by then, she asked for my support with our Daughters...like taking care of them for the 7-10 days she will be gone.
She was so happy and lively--like I haven't seen in months. However, I counteracted that with near silence and a generally crappy attitude. I know for sure the romance between her and the OM will be rekindled on that trip, and now she has an excuse to see him every 3 months. I told her I would absolutely take care of the kids--they're mine too and I'll do whatever to be with them whenever I can. I told her the bachelors degree was a great idea, but I was clearly agitated and upset by what the trip meant.
She started crying and left the house, returning shortly to tell me I am only concerned for my own happiness and that she can't stand my passive-aggressive behavior any more. She then moved out of our room into the spare bedroom and told me she will be changing the legal sep paperwork to divorce. She says she now feels nothing but hate for me, and she is dying inside having to wait until April to move out. She says I am sick, and have no capacity to be happy and support someone else.
Today she is seeing an attorney. So that's it. I have no chance.
