25, Adinva, Crimson, Leo, all of you have valid and helpful experience, but for someone reason I am attacked, and labeled codependant and all this stuff that is not constructive. Please help me answer my issues.
SM34, here comes the biggest 2x4 I have ever given anyone on this forum and never have I seen a person more deserving of it. You are so unbelievably hard-headed that it's actually painful to read your posts. I honestly don't hold out much hope for your marriage at this point unless you change, because saving it requires a change that I'm not sure you're capable of. That change is to set your bloated ego aside and assume a more humble posture, one of a learner instead of what you think you are (a teacher). You spend a ridiculous amount of effort trying to convince everyone here that they are wrong and you are right. That is time you could be spending actually improving yourself and GAL'ing and possibly saving your M in the process, but instead you choose to waste it here talking about how all the advice is bogus. I have read every single post here and have yet to see an attack on you, that is purely a fabrication in your mind and is probably an indication of why your marriage failed- you refuse to see your own faults. So you've got to decide one simple thing, do you want to be right or do you want to be happily married? Because for now, you're digging in your heels on being right. Drop the ego. Start with a beginner's mind. Quit arguing. Focus on accepting your own problems and doing something about them. Quit obsessing about every little thing your W says or does and what it means. Quit trying to figure out how to fix her. Start figuring out how to fix yourself.
He who knows not, and knows not that he knows not, is a fool, shun him. He who knows not, and knows that he knows not, is a child, teach him. He who knows, and knows not that he knows, is asleep, wake him. He who knows, and knows that he knows, is wise, follow him.
