When tapestries of life get tangled in the loom.

[25yearsmlc]

Guys,
I agree I have been a terrible husband, if not I wouldn't be here.
I am responsible for the breakdown of our marriage, and I worsened things pursuing trying to reconcile even.

I do not believe that YOU believe that you caused the breakdown.
You say it, but you contradict it often.
It's possible you think you made some mistakes afterwards, but most of the time you refer to yourself as being "too nice" after, so I'm not even sure you think you worsened things, for the reasons we might think so.


Surely I have pondered and learnt during this ordeal.


What, specifically do you mean? What is it you have learned, specifically?

But then what? I mean, what am I supposed to do at this pojnt. Wish her best of luck?

Seriously? I have been direct, listing suggestions to you, repeatedly. So have others.

This question is at best, a reflection on your inability to take in information you dislike. You need to change. Period.
Go read the MANY posts you've been given and see if you can glean a tip or two. THEN re-cap some of what we've told you and then we can work out something.

But to ask us "what now, wish her luck" is almost insulting. You think THAT is what we've been telling you?? If so, listening and Hearing, are two things you need to work on more.


Tell her I'm ok with D (and therefore validating her probable idea of looking for another person?)
Should I move on and begin looking for another girl?


SIGH...see above^^

Yes, I regognized I messed it all up, it's not secret I'm in shambles, I cry every night, there, I'm not ashamed to say it, I'm a wreck,

you say all that^^^, but you do NOT say WHY or HOW YOU messed up. So I don't know what to make of it.

You make vague statements of "minor" neglect & negligence. (Usually you then say she's done much worse to you). OR you revise things and blame her far more...But when you express regret, pretty quickly you then discuss your profound depression. But that isn't learning or growth. It's self pity and pain.

WE GET IT, it hurts. But that wallowing won't help you. Brave self examination & CHANGE will.


but practically, in the facts, I don't even know what to do, where to start, what to think, what to feel.

Bruce.

See the above comments and the many from others (Adnivas and R's above are great starts posted those are just TODAY'S.

The only upside to this nightmare ordeal we have all been through, is the

growth and self improvement. That's ALL up to YOU.