Tori, I too believe I have been a people pleaser. Sometimes this is good and sometimes not. In regards to negotiating directly with your H I don't have any experience in this area but perhaps you want to google on "assertive communications" prior to meeting your H.
I think you might go into such a meeting with the following: - completely know your financial facts and stick to them - know what dollar amounts you want - think of any curve balls your H might throw at you before hand so you can anticipate and diffuse them - hold firm on your opinions - don't feel guilty for your requests - open and honest with H - don't say unassertive words like "possibly we could..." - be prepared to calmly plan another meeting if it is not going well. Don't necessarily need to finish in one meeting.
Good luck. I'm sure you will do well.
I'm on moderation so not sure when this response will appear.
