Finally approaching the starting line!

[Grocerykartman]

7740 is right. And this isn't 1980. There's no reason in 2013 that you can't demand 50/50 custody. Kids are not something you acquiesce on, because they are not just some thing, or even money.

Furthermore, I'm no psychologist, but when I read you saying that she has accused you of trying to punish her, that you are trying to take the kids away from her, here's what I take from it: I think she's actually more scared than insistent about losing the kids. (Maybe it's an alimony thing too, I'm not naive enough to think it isn't.) But, just like when the WAW blames the spouse for everything at the onset of the bomb drop and re-writes history and all that, I think this is similar. She's trying to make YOU feel guilty?

Eyes, you may have dropped the ball a little more often than you should have when you were married rearding you marriage, but you have NOT dropped the ball as a dad. So you shouldn't accept anything less than 50/50. The kids have nothing to do with your problems with your wife or hers with you. You also have not done anything to warrant seeing your kids less, it isn't as if you cheated on her and the kids are on to it, or were abusive or anything like that. You're an upstanding guy with 2 wonderful kids who need you.

If you haven't sent the message yet, consider these changes:

Our agreement still does not sit right with just isn't acceptable to me. You continue to deny me legal joint custody, yet tell me I cn come nd see the kids anytime I want. Why? Just level with me, what is your concern with joint legal custody? We are both trying to secure our future with them, and I would really like to work this out with you. but the kids have nothing to do with our issues. We need to work this out. Although it seems as if Maybe we are not hearing and understanding each others needs. I know as they get older and are both in school full time our agreement will have to change. So I am going to make an appointment with my lawyer and we can let the lawyers and a judge decide what is the most fair agreement. 50/50 is the only arrangement that is acceptable to me. I respect and admire your dedication to our children, and as frustrating as it is, and I understandam happy that you want to spend as much time as possible with them. I do too though, and I want you to understand how important it is that the split is 50/50, for me but especially them. If you would like to disucss this further call me.[s]are fighting for [/s]every second with them. It really shows what a great mother you are.

And if you have sent it already and agree with any of this, when the time is right just massage what you sent earlier. Just my two cents here, but I don't think your message is assertive enough or centralized on the kids enough.


Best of luck eyes.