"i hate the kitchen ..!!!! and it got bad again because i'm sick... and i still don't feel i cook enough ...that they eat cereal and crap way too much.... it's so hard"
So should I roll with what I wrote above? Either she's onto this forum and who I post as, or this is an opening or segue from heaven...lol.
Wait a minute... Am I understanding you correctly that W sent the above email before you ever said a word? Wow, maybe the aliens can read our minds!
Quote:
"W, you have told me several times recently that you do not like working in the kitchen, cooking or grocery shopping right now, that it is stressful to you. I have heard you.
Due to the tax and insurance changes, the family needs to stretch the food budget, like our Mom's had to do in the 70's and early 80's...I used to do menus, cooking, food buying and kitchen work for a living, and when the kids were younger. I LIKE to do these things, so FOR RIGHT NOW I need to "take over" this area until you have healed and then we can figure out what to change up. I think me taking the decisions, spending and responsibility here will help you heal by reducing your stress and giving you more "space".
This is not a judgement of your ability, just that for right now, it's something you shouldn't need to worry about while you heal. I will get the boys involved, S2 is excited to help already, and it will be something we do together, and I can teach them this stuff."
The section I bolded sounds more aggressive than necessary to me. Maybe something a bit softer along the lines of "I'd be more than happy to step up and take on more responsibility in this area". If she wants to hand it all over to you, fine. But maybe you guys can work together on this.
I'd love to work together more in the kitchen with my W. As it is now, either I make the meal on my own, or she does. (I get home from work first, so I usually prepare dinner) She doesn't seem interested in working with me.
Cooking more was one of my 180's, as W used to do all of it. My skills are improving, I try to surprise her with new dishes here and there, and she does offer thanks and positive comments. So yes ladies, cooking H's can be made!
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
