thank you Tallula. Today I went with my sons and H to a party. And I shared with H about some of the painful things they have been saying. They don't show their feelings to him--I think because they are afraid he will disappear completely. My S8 said I love Daddy but I don't believe in him anymore. This really hurt H. My S5 keeps bumping himself on purpose and collapsing into hysterics for an hour. any excuse to let out the pain that he can't understand
It is WAY too fast and I told H today that a week ago we hosted a birthday party for our 5 year old and now he's seen a divorce lawyer, moved out and told the boys it's over. Our heads are spinning. In the interest of saving money, my sister and I are letting him stay in our mother's empty house that is on the market (she died), and I asked to seriously consider continuing therapy, starting indivdual therapy, and making a decision with a clear head without contact with the OW. He said that I made some very good points, and that he would think about it. We have the therapy appt on Saturday so let's see what happens.
I do not want him in my house, I am dropping this boundary tonight because my son asked if Daddy could come to watch a movie. I choose to show good will to him rather than tear off his face because of the kids.
I suggested a long separation before proceeding with the divorce, and to build our relationship up to the point where we can truly said we did everything we could. I have SERIOUS doubts that he will step up to the plate. and if he does, well then I will do my best to work even harder than before.
but i remain so CONFUSED...
congratulations on your pregnancy Tallula. I feel for you...I hope it works out for you, too.
