I took your advice and signed up for coaching with Chuck at DB. Our first session was really him just getting to know the dynamics of our situation. He then attempted to fill me in on what to expect.
Chuck looks at my wife as a WAS with MLC going on. Told me the script that she reads from and what her perspective is. That I should expect a bad day after any good day. It's the struggle within her as she reminds herself that she knows me inside out, that I have all these problems and that I will NEVER make a permanent change. This is even though she may have seen improvements in me over the past few months.
We actually had one good day this week. While my wife was away, she invited me to a couples' massage. We used to do these on a regular basis until she gave me the speech. The massage went well. We followed that up with some shopping for clothing for the kids, then she actually said she was hungry and we went to a restaurant. Overall the day went very well. Lots of good signs.
Next day, we hit a bump in the road. I was a little irritated that she had be disappearing after kissing the girls goodnight. She left both evenings after she came home from her trip. She wouldn't return until around midnight. I guess it showed and we had a spat. Nothing big, but when your spouse is looking for reasons to confirm her decision, ANYTHING is major.
In GAL, I have scheduled a day of skiing with a coworker. He and I both have very dynamic work schedules so we have never done anything together before. I'm looking forward to it. I don't usually go out and just have a great time, so this will be good for me. I told my wife I was going skiing with a friend that day. She asked with whom. I told her "with a coworker". Her reply was "that's pretty nondescript". I have said before that she asks where I am going. She tells me where she is going and who she is meeting (always her girlfriends), but she has a history of leaving out information before that she knows I would not like. I think it's good that she wonder.
Today, she is the ice queen. I had invited one couple over for the Super Bowl. Friend of hers and her husband. She then asked me to invite one couple after another until now we have a big clan here. All her friends. Not what I wanted. As soon as her friend showed up, she flipped a switch and was nice. But then, when she saw me talking with her friend, she started shooting me looks that could kill. This is going to me a FUN evening, I can tell..... NOT!
