W continues to live with OM - what to do?

[longrun]

Thanks for tuning in, AnotherStander. I respect your opinions a lot and have read many of your posts lately.

Do I allow cake-eating by accepting being "friends" for now?

That's not cake-eating, cake-eating would be if she were living with you in a more typical husband-wife relationship while also carrying on with OM. In your case you're separated and she's living elsewhere with OM, so that's not cake-eating whether the two of you are friends or not. I think you should foster a friendly relationship with her regardless, because the two of you will always be co-parents.

Thanks for this clarification. Being friends with W is not difficult at all. She tells me she continues to "love" me - like a brother but not like a husband. She is all "nice" and "sweet" in her communication with me.

Listen without fixing. Validate her emotions.

We rarely meet personally these days since I am busy with my job which is 400 miles away and right now I am on a different continent. I can't give much more space than that, LOL. Meanwhile W has left for a holiday trip to Scandinavia with OM and my/our kids.