After Chuck left me I swore I would NEVER be able to trust anyone again. I had trusted him with my soul and he violated that trust badly. Just as Gabe has done with you. You have never resolved your trust issues with Gabe but you are turning a blind eye to all that has gone on with him. He is not committing to you which just adds to all the pain and confusion. You have decided to accept him on those terms yet you constantly struggle with it all. In my opinion - you are selling yourself short BIG TIME. But we know that and you choose to continue. That's your right. But will you ever truly trust him again? I doubt it.
But someone new is a fresh start. I decided to give Josh a chance. To see if I could truly love and trust a new man. And I can honestly say that after 9 years - I can trust him. He has never done a single thing that gives me any reason not to. He is good and kind and loving. The only thing he will not do is ask me to marry him. Is that an issue for me? Kind of. Because I'm a hopeless romantic who would love to be married. Is it a deal breaker? Nope - no way. I doubt I could find another man who I love as much and who loves me back as much. If getting married is his one hangup - then I'll deal with it.
In Canada - we are considered in a common law marriage after living together for a year. So in that sense - we are married. I'd still like the party and "atta girl" from my friends and family. But it's ok, really.
Interesting question. I think you need to do more soul searching and as your friend suggests - a chat with your C.
