Time flies

[mishka422]

Eeewwwww...I had an eye opening conversation with a friend the other day. I've been processing it ever since and trying to figure out what it all means.

I was at the market and ran into one of my very good friends. We've both been crazy busy with the holidays and haven't had a chance to get together so we were playing catch up. Inevitably, she asked the question she always does (half jokingly)"So, have you and Gabe gotten re-married yet?" I just laughed and told her no but that I had been thinking about a couple of things.

First, with the new Health Care act we are going to have to start paying for next year it is going to cost more for me to pay for me and Marc and Gabe to pay for his than it would have cost for us as a family.

Second, I really need to have a living will drawn up so that in case something happens to me, Marc won't have to make a decision he is absolutely not mature enough to make. I don't want him to have to face pulling the plug or not. Gabe wouldn't be permitted to do that because we aren't married anymore.

She stopped me and said, "Gees, isn't there any better reason for getting married than those? I supposed people get married for all sorts of reasons but I would hope there are better ones than those for you."

I thought for a second and then told her that, those reasons are practical and don't scare me. The other reasons are terrifying. She then asked me if I was scared the first time I married him and I told her no, I was young and naive and stupid then. Now my eyes are wide open and I can't see marriage the same way anymore.

She laughed and said I needed more therapy!

We moved on with our conversation then but that has been in the back of my head ever since. I wonder if my feelings on the subject are just because it's Gabe and I have massive trust issues with him or if my feelings in general would be the same regardless of who it was. Would I trust anyone? It's an interesting question.

I don't know the answer and likely never will, but I wonder how the rest of you feel on the subject. Can you see completely trusting someone again or are the scars so deep that you can't see being that open with anyone?