Wife said she was done!

[Maritimer]

On Dec 1 I got the bombshell, she wants a separation. We have been together for 10 years married for 5 and have a 3 year old autistic boy and a 11 month old. I got the hint in September when she said her feeling were numb and she was blaming it on the anti depression meds. She wasnt very fun to be around so i spent most of my free time in the shed drinking beer and doing things around the house. Our communication drifted then in Dec she said she was done. Boom reality check for me so I stopped drinking, the pot, went to AA, started a diet and became more engaged with the kids. I asked her to see a marriage councilor and within 15 minutes my wife and the councilor had me pegged as a alcoholic and there was no hope for our marriage. Not very professional or helpful i thought. She put the house for sale and started making inventory of what she wants when the house sells. All this happened 5 days after she told me that she wanted to leave the marriage.

63 days later I lost nearly 40 pounds, no booze or pot, met with many councillors, became very engaged with the boys, I do all the cleaning & cooking all with a very positive attitude! I made the rookie mistakes by asking her to come try again and to seek another marriage councillor but she keeps saying no im done. I am having a hard time accepting that she wont try for the sake of the children. I made drastic changes over the last 2 month and thought she would realize how serious i was about improving my lifestyle for myself and our family.

Over the past 3 years both of her parents passed away, had postpartum with both of the children and our 3 year old was diagnosed with autism. That is alot to take for even the strongest person. I have always been there for her but she has trouble opening up. I feel that her choices a being impaired do to her depression and the challenges of coping with the grief of her parents. Walking away from the marriage will just make a bad situation worse. We have a beautiful family and I know we can make it work if we both try.

I enjoy reading the forum and realize i am not the only one going through this. I am hoping for the best but planning for the worst. I appreciate words of advise and will keep you posted on my progress!