not sure where to go from here

[littleGTO]

hi, tired,
Just finished reading your entire thread. I can understand where you are.

My H has been involved in an EA for a year, although I've only known for 7 months. He moved out 3 months ago.

The secretive communication between OW and H killed me every day. The fact that your H goes out nightly to who knows where and shares none of that with you is definitely cake-eating.

BUT you have to decision if/for how long you are willing to live w this. It is painful to you not to know & you end up not asking then a few days later exploding about where he's been. It is not healthy for YOU.

Don't worryy about who you've talked to. You needed the support & you couldn't have predicted who would be a good confidante and who wouldn't. I did that too, but I don't regret it. I now only talk about my sitch to those who understand what I've trying to do ultimately. For everyone else I am purposely vague and they generally respect that I don't want to talk further about it.

I also understand about how you are the scape-goat for your angry son. I am too. My s9 is very angry at his dad and I see this at night when H is not here. But, we talk about why he is really angry and he understands that he really isn't mad at me.

My two youngest sons see a C at school and we just went to our first FC session last week (which she indicated that she thought it would be best to see each of the kids individually as they are dealing w dad's moving out differently).

Be strong. Detach. Decide what YOU want and what YOU can live with or not. Set your boundaries and follow through. Stay calm.

((()))