Portia, I've just been catching up on your sitch and first wanted to congratulate you on your self focus and taking care of yourself and your family. Regarding your question about continuing with your plans or not...please do so. Focusing on your life without him will continue to both heal you and allow him the space and time without you to recognize what he really wants for his life.
I know that us LDR's find it harder to not initiate that contact because we don't have the convenience of running into our SO or setting dates to meet and talk. But the time and the distance can really help the MLCer focus on themselves and the path they have taken, when the fog starts lifting.
I've been learning so much about my H and how he was processing (or burying) his feelings during the time we were separated and he was with OW. A lot of the things I thought I knew, I really didn't. His confusion, guilt and shame, the struggles with who he was, mortality, feeling worthy of love...all of that manifested itself in his irrational behavior. But he only started seeing that when I pulled back and stopped, not only trying to fix things for him, but also just doing my own thing and not pursuing.
But, I will say, when the LDR MLCer does reach out to talk, do so. Be strong, confident and sassy, but listen, talk, be there. Be the friend he remembers, but only when he reaches out to you. JMO.
