H is still not feeling well. I think it probably has to do with him having withdrawal symptoms from cutting down his caffeine intake which had got ridiculous since he stopped drinking a month ago. I'm as addicted to focussing on him as he is on substances (caffeine, sugar, alcohol..) I'm so tired of his secret eating that I openly went and bought some ice-cream for all of us last night. It was better than him pretending to go out to buy more coffee.
He has now taken S13 swimming and managed to get D15 to her netball game earlier this morning. I'm dying to give him advice on how to manage his health and his life generally.
Selfishly, part of my anxiety about him not looking after his health properly is that I don't want to do his share of things as well. I do all the household chores and accounts and manage the carers for S13 and he usually does the things that involve going on expeditions and he gets S13 up and ready in the mornings. I really don't want to take that on when he's here. He's away a couple of weeks later in Feb so obviously I'll do it then.
It sort of feels as if I've been taken over by a codependent-bug/virus. I seem to have so little immunity to it. I don't enjoy our local Al-Anon meeting but I sure need an injection of detachment. I'll keep re-reading that article on detachment and keep coming here.
Me: 51 H: 52 T: 23 yrs M: 19 yrs S18, D16, S14 (special needs) PA: 2003/2004 Piecing: 2004 on Suspect H had EA: 8/2012-12/2012
