EXPERIMENTING with physical touch with W

[SM34]

I re read ALL the posts everyone wrote in response to my physical touch experiment.

25 yes, I read the post you wrote to me that included Peanut's detaching explanation. I am not going to lie and say I am completely detached, but I have come a LONG way in the 2 months.

I don't text my W unless it is related to D3 or in response to her messages. I'm following Laurie's recommendation which is since the exchanges are pleasant and have smiley faces and lols, I am to "match the tone" in my responses. Positive texts get positive responses, and neutral gets neutral. We have no negative exchanges thankfully.

As far as the physical touch, I really was trying to "note" the response as Laurie told me to. I know it was too much, but why is everyone re hashing the detaching? I really wasn't jumping for joy when W didn't kick me in the b%lls for touching her =)

I love my W and my D3 and OUR family dearly. I do not want it to end here! However, I am very proud of myself with how far I have come in being "emotionally" independent, which I think is what detachment is.

Advina, I believe that when my W actions no longer affect my psychological state, then I have reached true detachment. Right now, I would say I am perhaps half way there, if there was such a thing.

I don't hang on everything she does. I am doing my 180s but I'm also not being a doormat and over doing it with household chores. I work hard and pay bills, and W needs to do her part of running the household =) I will NOT run around doing everything for her.

I am coming home at 5.30 every day, I'm doing the home improvements on time, taking out the trash on time, and complimenting W here and there for things she has done, and complimenting her on looks ONCE a week. These are part of my 180s. But I am certainly not going to be kissing her butt to stay. I am a catch, and if she can't see it then its her loss =)

I was talking to mother in law when I went to drop D3 at her house for the night. She said something interesting, that perhaps I need a new 180 for. She said W told her that her biggest complaint about me is that I am "oblivious" to anything that doesn't smack me across the head.

Not sure what that is all about. MIL told me she would talk to me more in depth about it when we have some time. She is really trying to help me because she loves me so much. She still tells me that I am the son she never had, and that she will NEVER warm up to OM, EVER. I'm being cautious with MIL since everyone has warned about that, but really for the first 10 years of our relationship, my mother still lived overseas, and MIL was really my mother away from home. She is awesome and we have a great relationship.

So, tonight W is with OM, and D3 is at MIL. I took the crew from work out for dinner after work. We had a nice company dinner which we haven't done in a long time. Kind of celebrated the new store I am purchasing. Guys are really excited, so are my parents, so is MIL, and so is W (probably mad I didn't do it earlier).

After dinner, I went and treated myself to a much needed 1 hour massage. Best thing I have done in a long LONG time. It was nice to have a woman run her hands all over me and rub out my knots. And boy were there knots! Its amazing the condition our bodies can be in after the bomb isn't it?

The masseuse was hitting on me BIG TIME. She kept telling that she loves my dimples (yes I have dimples on both cheeks). Then she enjoyed rubbing my clean shaved head. Then she proceeded to ask me how far away I lived and that she is done with work after this massage. I had to kindly decline the offer, although I must say it was tempting... she was hot and its been 2 months now!!

Funny thing is, I am wearing my wedding ring, and I know she saw it because she was rubbing my hand. Its amazing how people don't respect marriage anymore. My W has an OM hit on her to the point that he convinces her to leave her 14 year marriage with a 3 year old, and I'm being hit on by a woman who knows (or thinks) I am married. Crazy stuff. People need to respect that a little, because you know what they say, you are only as faithful as your options.... so options should be limited!

Enjoyed the night very much. Good self esteem boost to have a girl who massages men all day long actually tell me I am cute and how adorable my dimples are.

Settling in to watch TV, feeling very relaxed, and don't care at all what W is upto. Havent heard from her since this morning when she left. Well except she messaged me that she thinks she is coming home tomorrow instead of Sunday (not sure why she is cutting it short). I answered "OK".