Figured I would create a new thread only because my first post from my last thread is like a huge wall of text since I wrote it in MS word and accidentaly took out some of the spacing.

But if you are a brave soul and want to read my sitch feel free.

My Last Thread

As I re-read through DR, I got to chapter 9 "Putting it all together" and thought maybe I should just write out my steps as well and then can use that for feedback and monitoring results.

So here we go.

Step 1: Unlearning

Realizing that my way was/is not all ways the best/right way. Could not tell you how many times my wife would come to me "nagging/b*^$@ing" about things whether it be about issues with work, the kids, bills, her schooling, or anything. I would never see her side of what it is she is telling me and never validated her feeling. In matter of fact I would either be trying to guess what she is going to say next since I heard it 100 times before or I would offer a "fix-it" solution.

Step 2: What I want

Goal 1: I want my wife to recommit to our marriage

  • My wife will wear her wedding rings again
  • My wife will be open to going out on dates with me
  • my wife will be comfortable in talking with me about personal issues or even issues within our marriage


Goal 2: We will be happy together (borrowed this from the DR book but all the points are what I would like as well)
  • We Will go out once a week and spend quality time as a couple
  • We will talk more
  • We will ML more often

Me: 34 W:35
SD(16),S(11),S(10),SD(9),D(7),D(5)