I realize bringing up the separation was a bad idea now, but I was acting on the advice of my therapist who said us bring in the same room together was bringing up so much raw emotions and pain the separation could be healing. I googled healing separation & found a great article. I realize that that would never work unless he was ready to do something like that. I guess my hope was that he would be away from me and the kids and realize what he was missing and miss us so much he would come back home quickly. My question is now that it's out there if he does bring it up again what do I say, I've changed my mind? I'm at a different place now I don't feel the need for you to leave but I'll do what you think is best? What do you suggest?
As for controlling the relationship that's funny because I feel like I had no control. We have separate bank accounts he works, I'm a stay-at-home mom so he pays all the bills and give me a semi weekly allowance to spend on Walmart trips fun things for the kids movies etc. and I feel like a little kid having to ask my dad for money when I need it. He went out whenever he wanted with his friends and even if I didn't like it would give me a hard time that I was overreacting if I felt like he waa spending to much time away from home or I didn't like the fact he was spending time with partyers and single people, instead of going to kids parties with me on the weekends or having family time at home or even just hanging out the 2 of us. It was never worth fighting over so I always just swept things under the rug. Plus after the death of my son I felt why sweat the small things and to pick my battles. He was an only child and always used to getting his own way and according to his mother walks on water, lol. So not sure if he feels entitled to more or something?
So I will continue to be detached & have fun with my kids & do stuff for myself...
