Wife lost in the MLC-We are now separated 2

[sam4nh]

So W just stopped by to finally pickup her dog. She texted this morning and said she had an appointment in another town and she’d pick him up later, not a request, but a statement. She showed up at 4pm. No thanks nothing…Not unusual. As soon as she walked in she started in on my about reviewing the divorce agreement and could I take a look at it and let her know of any changes. NOTE: I was on a conference call with others when she insisted we start this conversation. She kept saying she was soooo busy , had to do all this stuff and had people yelling at her, etc.

She asked when I would review the divorce documents. I said that I was not in any hurry since I have a lot of stuff on my plate right now. She became upset and said that she wants to ‘move on” and not spend months reviewing the document. I said that I don’t’ see this taking months. My grandmother is in the hospital and is not doing very well. She did say she was sorry about my grandmother. I am also still reeling from my mom passing away last October of last year.

I went on to say something about not feeling like I had her support during this time….Which she piped up that she was there and supported me. I said that I had lost four major people in my life last year (including my mom illness and death and cousin) and that this is still weighing on my heart and mind. I probably did say this to make her feel guilty and I shouldn’t have. I did think to myself that she showed up physically at my parents’ home during my mom’s illness and death, but she spent the majority of time texting with the OW. I did not say that. Not a good things to toss out there, I know!!! I said that my family is my priority and her and the divorce document is not at this moment. STHU is what I should have done! Thank you, point taken.

I got very frustrated because she just kept stating didn't know why I was trying to hold up reviewing the document and she is ready to "moving on". I will also say that she would not say ready to divorce, but used “move on”. I said that I want to review and make sure I feel comfortable with the document and that I'll let her know. She then started to freak out about how she was being more than generous with her future earnings and that she's talked to several people, lawyer, financial planner, etc . who all told her she was being very generous. She then said I should be happy I’m getting a great deal with her sharing 40% of her stocks with me. Another thing she said is that I should not fight her on this since she feels she is being nice about all of this. I said that her interpretation of the law in our state about division of assets/earnings is how she sees it and I’m not sure how that works and that I still want to review the document and make sure I’m comfortable with it. She was not happy.

I said that I would go to the counselor to work through the divorce agreement. She reminded me that this was a divorce counselor NOT a counselor to help us get back together. I said I know and that I will not go to the mediator again since we paid $$ and did not get anything usable. She got testy about that and said something about the counselor is the same thing as a mediator. I said I felt like we were rushed through the mediation and I did not feel comfortable with the process being quick and not really understanding the facts. I think she agreed, but in her theatrics I couldn’t really tell.

I also said that we still need to decide what to do with the boat we own together before I would sign anything. She said that we could co-own it…Oh Really! Or that one of us could buy the other out. I asked if she wanted to buy it and she said she would if she could afford it. I said go for it if that’s what she wants, but I still want to think about what I wanted.

I was pulled back onto my call and she was upset and left saying something about talking (I doubt that) later.

I know, don't argue with her again I did not do any good for this process. She totally ambushed me while I was on a call and I reacted and did not respond. At this point I’m not sure I actually care what she thinks or does or whether I pi$$ her off. I do not like the person she is right now.

A funny side note is that she was again wearing her wedding band we exchanged several years ago and started fiddling with it during our discussion.

She just texted to say she was sorry she pushed me and sorry that my grandmother is sick….????? She went on to say that I know you have been through a lot in the past year but it is not fair to say that I was not there…(Note: Yes it is since she wasn’t). She said she was there through all of their deaths. (Yes she was, if you don’t mind nonstop texting with OW). And finally she said that she wanted to make sure I was not going to put the document in a drawer and avoid it for three months. I get the feeling she thinks I’m a procrastinator like she is.

Why the hell can’t I follow the program and stop causing my own issues. Maybe it’s because I’m sinking my own ship.