Well, thank god he left right as I was putting the kids down for naps. I could sob alone. I'm sad, but I have no regret. He is coming to watch the kids tomorrow so I can go to my alanon meeting & he can get a few more things. Then we tell the kids. They are so little, I really only think S3 will kinda understand. I'm thinking this is good to say:
daddy is going to live somewhere else for awhile. It has nothing to do with you, we are still a family, just with 2 houses.
Advice or suggestions would be great. I've read up on it, and it's just hard with them being so little.
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I have nothing to offer on how to tell the kids but you've been doing great and have gotten yourself to a good place. Sobbing alone is fine, you were able to hold it all together in front of everybody. Stay strong!
“People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Abraham Lincoln
Good job keeping it together. You are very inspirational to me and I hope I can show as much strength when my H moves out. Keep being strong!! Your kids are young. It will be much easier on them then you. In my sitch my kids are older and I wish they were younger bc they understand too much. They hate me even though my H is the one messing up the family. I'm the one still there so I am an easier target. At least when they are little they can't tell you it is all your fault, etc.
me-42 H-41 S-12 S-8 M-15 yr f/o bout OW- 11-29-12 H moved out 10-31-13 Filed for divorce 12-27-13 D- 10-21-14
Tallula, With your children keep it simple. They are too little to understand much. Fortunately young children tend to adjust quickly. They will react to you, so the more you and be "normal" for them, the better.
It won't be easy for you, but you are strong and are doing a great job!
Thinking of you!
M- 18 T-21 S-14,11 & 10 BD 6-18-2012 (OW-EA) H moved out 11-3-2012 10-5-13 Me- I want a divorce. I want to move on w my life. 11-25-13 Jointly filed.
S3 got upset today when H switched the TV in his room to a smaller one so he have that one, and when he took our oversized chair from the living room, so we told him short & sweet and tears well up in his eyes and he says "but I will miss my TV!!! Where will you & I snuggle in the morning? The couch isn't very snugly." we started cracking up & H goes "nice to know where I rank." I hugged him & told him that we'd find a super cool snugly place to snuggle & he could decorate the new tv with stickers (it's my old college tv)
I cried again after he left. But man, the guy has called me like 4 times & texted I love you before bed last night. We'll see if he texts again tonight. I'm not going to tell him to cool it just yet. I'm going to give it some time. Of course in a perfect world, H decides to work at being faithful & is transparent and we work out our M. However, the whole reason I stated my boundaries was that he wanted to move forward in the R without those things.
I'm detached enough not to read into anything. The guy is a mess. I'm doing ok, sad. Netflix and I have a date on the couch
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
I have been meeting Netflix for late night dates going on three months now! Your story is one of courage, keep up your strength it going to pay off! I wish my H would move out....it's the only way for them to grow I think.
It's the best way for us to heal! That's what comes first these days!
My best dm!
The past can't be ahead of you in the future. You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction. What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!
For real! I should have just waited til this got locked, lol!
M: 9 yrs T: 13 yrs H:34 Me:35, S4, D2, S 7 months Dday 11/12-PA & multiple PAs Dbing 12/12 S 1/13 7/13 H moved back in basement. 8/13 #3 born 10/13 still cheating 10/13 He moves across country, I file for D
