OK. You're standing there with your hand on a hot stove telling us this is painful, when am I going to learn? I know I need to take my hand off this stove. When am I going to learn?
You learn by doing it. Just a little, just once. And come here and tell what you did different, how you did it, how you felt about doing it. And then screw up 12 times and have one more success and come back here and repeat, reinforce, remind yourself of what you did and why it was right.
Since you mentioned the texting, maybe try this to detach. Send her a text that is worded in such a way that it requires no answer at all, and then turn your phone completely off for 2 hours. If the details don't work try the concept and tweak the details. But change one thing to get yourself to stop hanging on and hoping because it really isn't attractive. It really isn't detaching. Detaching isn't stopping to care. It's stopping the complete handing over of your hopes, mood, and emotions to her as the puppetmaster. It is being YOU, how you are, how you feel, happy and confident and successful and growing and doing interesting things and enjoying your life whatever that means to you...whether she texts you back or not, whether she loves you or not, whether she gets hit by a bus or not. You would need to do the exact same thing to heal and have a complete life if something happened to her. Your being a happy confident successful man will NOT hurt your chances of a reconciliation.
Not doing that might.
Do it.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
