Is it humanly possible to drop the rope?

[ericmsant2]

Antonia

Sorry I missed your BD. So happy belated birthday!

I feel like a bit of a loser, quite honestly.

Hmm…..”loser” ya don’t say… let me see if I can describe you a bit…

1) Author of multiple books.
2) Kind
3) Sincere
4) Approachable
5) Reflective
6) Strong
7) Independant
8) Honest
9) Great friend
10) Great human being (example – your post to others)
11) Smart
12) Articulate
13) Funny (yeah people don’t know that you have no issue lisitening to 50 cent )
14) Great musical interest
15) Vidoe game player (zombies!)
16) Tremendous animal lover
17) Great cook…yeah I see those dishes you make on FB
18) F*ck you even do your own landscaping!
19) Helpful
20) Forward thinking

So….when I look at the above…I would disagree you are not a loser. It is okay to still have moments of sadness about your XH. Unfortunately, it is part of the healing process. [censored] I know. When the time it right….it will go away. I know it does not always feel that way but it will.

People keep saying "do you have plans for your birthday?" Well, no. What am I going to do other than go to work. Go out alone? I don't mind going out alone other days, but today? I feel like a bit of a loser, quite honestly. I'm tired of having to make up my own isolated celebrations for things. How many years is this going to persist, the rest of my life? Cause it's 3 years plus now and I never thought it would be that long.

Do you have a car? Do you have a calendar? Com’on Antonia….you could plan something. A trip somewhere you do NOT need to stay home OR go out alone. Try “meet up” groups, try social circles. Personally, I think this is the last bit of work you need to do. That is STEP OUTSIDE OF YOU COMFORT ZONE. You have made a life for yourself, which is IMO, based on being alone, which I get (especially with the losers that are single)..but you really do not have to be. F*ck you could have come up and visited me. We could have planned a trip to go see PEI, or B, or we could have done something - and you know I am serious. My point, is stop waiting for it to happen and MAKE it happen! You and I both know you do not need a man (okay sometime ya do but hey…they have devices for that)..seriously, you are right there…you are almost about to break through. Stop thinking so much about your X and start really PLANNING YOUR LIFE.

Where do you want to be in 5 years?

Where do you want to live?

What do you want to do for work?

Do you want kids?

What places do you want to go?

What hobbies have you not started?

I know this is not easy Antonia. Some of the questions may seem impossible...they may even be dreams...why not try to live our dreams. For example: I will move to NC at somepoint. I know you know how my I love my kids. My D (12) is getting older and at somepoint will not "need" daddy the way she does today...so I am starting to really figure out how I accomplish my goals. Since I no longer wnat to live in my state, I am not looking at purchasing a home. That is just a quick example. So please push yourself to really sit down and figure out what you really what to do for Antonia.

You got this Antonia! As T said, feel it, then let it go.

Peace,
Eric