The other thing to do is reread ericmsant2's reply to you a few entries back
I agree!
Quote:
why I am going forward with the divorce
Why are you going through with the D? Oh…I know, you are pissed off that she is with an OM. I get it I totally do. I agree with your position of….no contacting OM while you are in the house, etc. That said, IMO, you rang the divorce bell thinking it would “shake her as* back to reality”, which I understand; however at the core it is manipulation on your part. Why? You are spinning right now….you keep thinking that somehow you can talk your way out of this, that somehow you can TELL HER what she can and can not do. FTR, IMO, you cannot TELL HER. Your actions should be doing all of the talking – not your words. That is why I said ealier STFU. Stop talking to her. Right now, you are not in an emotional place to have a conversation with you. Consider this…1) chances are she is going to LIE to your face, which is going to piss you off even more. 2) She has told you how she felt, which is that she is no longer in love with you. So do you think you are going to be able to talk her back into being in love with you?
As for telling her parents, that is your call. I not saying NOT to nor am I saying to do it. My only comment would be….if you are gonna do it YOU better be in the position of “holding on to your nuts and standing your ground”.
Who filed for the divorce? Who contacted the mediator?
You are at a crossroads buddy….personally I would do the following, but that is me and you are not me...so you need to do what works for YOU:
1) If you pay for her cell phone – cut it off. Period. Just turn it off. If she does not like it she can purchase her own plan.
2) Set up a parenting schedule with your son and start to follow it NOW.
3) Why are you working 2 jobs? Why? Do you really need to? If you do, why do you, is it because she does not make enough…because your combined expenses are more than you can cover? If so, then cut your expenses. Stop trying to be Mr wonderful with her (that is not saying be an as*).
4) If you really do not want the house, put it on the market – NOW.
5) Do you have joint credit cards and/or bank accounts? If so, close them if possible or open your own.
6) Are you paying bills in her name? If so, stop it. She can pay for them herself.
7) You can tell her parents if you so choose but I would not expect anything different. Why? Cause think about it for a sec…it is almost like “going to mom to complain about your big brother”. If you want her to stop the A, then let your actions do the talking i.e. show her what life will be like when you are not around.
8) You talk about little sunny, yet you will only see him one day a week and every other Saturday night. Is that what you want for little sunny…is that the R you want with him? If not, then DO NOT agree to it!
9) Stop snooping, stop treating her like your property. If you do not want something done i.e. no texting OM while she is in the house – then cut off the phone! My point, say what you need to say ONCE and then act on it!
10) Finally…….you are afraid right now….it is all over your post. Stop being afraid! You will survive this…how though…is all up to you.
Now…what is the game plan?
Are you in the garden state?
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
