Wow, have things changed

[leopoldstotch]

Well, it went badly. He walked out after 10 minutes. He didnt like hearing what the MC said when he gave her his reason to not want to give me transparecy. The drive home was ok for most of it, but then we ended up fighting when i calmly told him the 3 thngs she said to discuss regarding the S. I kept it calm for awhile & then just lost it for a minute. Threw this whole thing it is like some alien being has taken over my husband. I have no idea why these things set him off. He threw his wallet at me, so i left for the night. Unacceptable!! He has never talked to me the way he has been, and certainly never thrown something at me. When I got home the next morning, we had a very calm and frank discussion. S is going to happen. He really felt horrible and we know we can't live together. he admitted that he is very angry with me & sets me up. He doesn't know why he is getting so mad at me. Bottom line is, really for the first time in awhile I finally saw a glimpse of my old H. I said again, that we are going to be in each others lives forever & I would like to keep our R as civil as possible for our children. He said that I deserve none of this & that he is really screwed up. Lots more stuff, and it's been civil since.

We made a plan for the kids, and that we will truely be S. only discuss the kids. He had been wanting to "date", which was what had set him off at first since I thought we shouldn't. But he completely agrees that we shouldnt. I need space to get calm in my life & really move on with me, he needs space to move past his resentment & really figure out if he wants to be a faithful person.

We both feel good about the S, but are sad. I really do think that we are stuck By living together and trying to force it. It's also fun that our anniversary is this month...and I'm trying to cancel our weekend away. Ah. We also set a minimum S of 1 month. I can see him trying to come back earlier & me letting him, so we figure that a minimum is good. We have found a few month to month places. While I will miss him, the thought of being in this house on weekends without my babies is killing me. I only work 2 days a week, so we have planned that I get them Sunday-Friday evening, he'll take them Friday-Sunday. And he'll one over on Tuesday nights so I can go to a meeting.

Here we go...

Hi T sorry I haven't posted I've been busy with work. No surprise the MC didn't go well. As far as the way he spoke to you after the session and throwing his wallet well from my experience with my W that tells me he feels cornered. He's wrong I know it, you know it, your MC knows it and your H knows it that's why he acted out.

So glad you left for the night. His behavior was and is unacceptable. Sounds like you have a good plan in place.