How did everyone there "get" retroV but my h didn't? Why did it Make H more miserable?
Not everyone here agrees with me, but personally I feel the timing must be right for RetroV to be effective. My W said that as recently as November that she would not have gone, and she also said that if I had found a way to drag her there that it would not have been one bit effective. My W simply wasn't interested in our M at that point. Some of the hosting couples reported a more miraculous turnaround, but it was clear to me that they were all quite religious beforehand and felt that RetroV made it clear to them that it was their "calling" to try to restore the M. My W is not religious and was not affected by the discussions saying it's God's will that spouses stay together. That just did not matter to her and it probably didn't matter to your H from what you said.
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He actually came with me to the post session last week, but indicated he won't be coming next week.
I would let it go then. If he changes his mind he'll tell you. Don't say anything else about it to him, he'll just see it as you applying pressure.
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I want my marriage to wok, but is there a point when you just give up?
It is NOT giving up. It is moving on. And the timeline varies. For some it comes right away after BD, for others it's weeks, months, years and in some cases it's never. But regardless, the WAS is the one who gave up, not the LBS. It's your choice when to stop standing and move on with your life.
