Funny, but my XW and I were having a discussion via text regarding love languages and she noted that she is a mixture of words of affirmation and physical touch - both of which I strongly agree with.
Since my BD 17 months ago, the instances where I have touched my now (XW) have been few and far between. I can count on one hand the hugs that we have shared since then. Granted, there are no pure aboslutes in this process - but even though NOW I think she would *maybe* be more open to it - when I was at your stage the notion of physically touching her was a million miles away. She just seemed as though it was the last thing that she wanted and I think in her situation she didn't want anything even remotely close to "closeness" since she had filed for D. I guess I say all of this to say be careful with it - and don't assume that lack of an overtly negative reaction means that negative (if not confused) feelings are there.
Also, for the love of GOD stop looking for the "if/then" relationships and using her immediate reactions as a baromenter. It just does not work that way and you and I both are living examples of the fact that our ability to read our wives basically sux. So try to stop.
Yes, it is good that your wife didn't recoil in total horror at your touch....and that she agreed to do something with you. However, you are just seeing the surface and there is still a lot below it.
In the middle of our D proceedings my XW and I went to see a famous comedian together. We had a great time....she even held my arm as we were leaving. Then, literally FIVE minutes later she went OFF on me the ENTIRE drive back to her condo about our situation....how things were my fault.....it was pretty crappy. So I guess I say that to say take small steps of progress as just that...SMALL SMALL SMALL steps of progress - and not a signal that R is on the horizon. It has been my personal experience that a WAS can dart back and forth between "being cool" with you and "being glad she is leaving" a lot.
Slow down, man.....I know you want a faster fix, I did too. But you will drive yourself nuts looking for it in the "hidden" signals you may or may not be getting. Keep working on you...give the impression that you are going to be great (if not BETTER) and she is going to miss out on it.
