First off, stay with us, don't run away from here. There are people here who can help you work through this. Maybe not in Newcomers, but there are other forums here that can help you recognize what you are dealing with.
Secondly, you are going to take some heat from posters, because you represent that "other" side of things. Take what you need, and discard the rest. Everyone that comes here, wants to heal. And we all deserve that chance..
Mr Bond asked you earlier, what YOU want...
You said to reconcile....
What does that look like to you ???
I don't have a lot of time right now, so I will check back in later...
